Is Love Enough? Why I’m Considering Divorce After 20 Years of Marriage
Asked by : Sara Ali Khan Oct 18, 22:07 19 views English Questions
Hello. My name is Sara I'm 40 years old, married for 20 years, and a mother of three. My husband is 55. In the early years of our marriage, things seemed fine. Sure, there were red flag financial secrecy, small lies but I brushed them off, assuming every couple has their challenges.
Over time, those red flags became patterns I could no longer ignore.
My husband started handling our finances without ever consulting me. He would lie about not receiving his salary and hide his payslip. I’d eventually find out the truth his full paycheck was right there. He’d apologize, and I’d forgive him, thinking he’d change. He never did.
Last year, everything came crashing down. I discovered he had taken multiple loans without my knowledge, to the point where his salary wasn’t just low. it was a negative balance. The worst part? I had to uncover this by insisting to see his bank messages. That’s when I also found out he hadn't been paying our children’s school fees.
We argued. I told him I wanted a divorce. I was emotionally exhausted from carrying the financial and emotional burden of this relationship.
But I gave him one more chance.
We sat down and made a plan to repay his debts. I was hopeful. But again, he broke the agreement—and my trust. He apologized. I forgave. Again.
Then just a few days ago, I found out he secretly applied for yet another loan behind my back.
We’ve been to counseling. He lies confidently, even to the therapist. I’m the one left to deal with the consequences—emotionally, mentally, financially.
Now, I find myself asking:
Would I be wrong to separate or divorce a man who repeatedly chooses lies over partnership?
I'm tired of living in a cycle of deceit, betrayal, and broken promises. I’ve done my part. I’ve forgiven, planned, supported, hoped—and now I feel empty.
Ethan cole on Oct 25, 18:53
No you haven't my sister, you've done what you could, your partner can not kill you or make your swim in debts just because you want to keep a relationship, you have my full support girl, what I can say is that, you were strong enough too keep thag relationship up to this point and if it were to be someone else, she would have leave him long time ago, so my sister you are a strong woman 👩Jhislain.Voumas on Nov 6, 4:04
I'm really sorry for you may God help you and really changes your husband mentality.Sara Taylor on Nov 9, 13:46
Sad to read this bad news. My husband passed a few years ago. Now I am ready to move on and have some fun but I'm feeling very depressed now....